"It's not up to us to free jw's from the wt, iether." So true Satanus! People will only see what they're ready to see. I'm learning this.
damselfly, you said, "Are you the voice in my head?!" It's quite possible we just hear the same voice! I'm meeting lots of people in their early 30's who are going through the same epiphanous moments these days. I almost wonder whether we're energetically tied together in this learning right now. Hmmm...
tall penguin
tall penguin
JoinedPosts by tall penguin
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21
I realized something today...
by tall penguin ini was thinking today about my business.
i've been working in the field of educational therapy for the past 4 years, helping children and adults with learning challenges.
in the past year, i started working with infants as well, supporting their first year motor development.
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tall penguin
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Moments of clarity (aka the fog lifting)
by damselfly ini sometimes feel as if my life is lived in a self induced fog (or hamster bubble .
the lastest head smacking moment was me thinking that the reason these moments are scattered might be because the whole thing all at once might be too much to handle mentally.
maybe it's better to realize how scarred you are in little bits at a time instead of all at once.
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tall penguin
damselfly, I can so relate to you. You said, "Maybe it's better to realize how scarred you are in little bits at a time instead of all at once."
Yup, I think this is the brain's way of making sure you don't go into shock. I sometimes tell my clients who are on the healing path that it's like peeling the layers of an onion. You strip off one layer at a time. You take it slow as there is always more under every layer, yet at some point you reach the core. And then, that's the best part for you've discovered who you are.
All my best to you on your journey to wholeness.
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21
I realized something today...
by tall penguin ini was thinking today about my business.
i've been working in the field of educational therapy for the past 4 years, helping children and adults with learning challenges.
in the past year, i started working with infants as well, supporting their first year motor development.
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tall penguin
Thanks all of you for your support and kind words. Every time I post here I feel vulnerable and exposed yet I make the leap and trust that I'll find a safe space. And I do. I appreciate so much having friends to talk to on this journey. The words from each of you have touched me deeply. Thank you.
MsMcDucket, thanks for the thumbs up!
Odrade, thank you for sharing those most wise and profound words that a past poster shared with you. I appreciate the simplicity of "well go that way then and here's your hug." And the idea that I am now the writer of my own story and can make as many edits and changes that I need to. Very freeing.
telltruth, I appreciate how you've jumped right into things here at jwd and have supported me so much already. Thank you.
freedomlover, it's nice to know I'm not alone on this journey. I wish you all the best in finding a FUN job. And thanks for complimenting my ephiphanous brain! :) And yes, I always do enjoy a good ISBN. ;)
Juni, thank you for sharing your story with me. I'm happy you're doing a job you enjoy. It really makes a big difference in your quality of life. And these words are oh so true: "A person has to take time for healing themselves before they can help others."
carmel, you said, "What's neat is you are free to find out for yourself what works without the "occupation police" giving you a guilt trip!" Amen to that! Yes, it is quite wonderful to lead my life without Big Brother watching me. It's a whole new world!
Thanks again to all.
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you call it cognitive dissonance. i call it pain
by coolhandluke inwhen i was growing up i never watched cartoons.
i didn't play with other kids who were not of the same faith.
i didn't curse.
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tall penguin
What an incredibly breathtaking piece of writing. Wow! Thank you so much for this. It expresses the journey so many of us are on. Thank you CHL.
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21
I realized something today...
by tall penguin ini was thinking today about my business.
i've been working in the field of educational therapy for the past 4 years, helping children and adults with learning challenges.
in the past year, i started working with infants as well, supporting their first year motor development.
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tall penguin
I was thinking today about my business. I've been working in the field of Educational Therapy for the past 4 years, helping children and adults with learning challenges. In the past year, I started working with infants as well, supporting their first year motor development.
Since I left the org 3 months ago, I've been re-evaluating all areas of my life. I put my business on the back burner as my heart really just hasn't been in it. I've been going through so much myself that I just had no energy left for my clients.
I recently took a part-time job working in a major bookstore where I live. And I love it! And I had to ask myself why. So today I was pondering this and I realized that I love just doing my job and not having anyone's life or emotions in my hands. I like that I take care of my customers, find them their books and then they're happily on their way. If the store doesn't have what they're looking for, oh well, sorry, I smile and they move on. I help where I can and don't sweat it when I can't.
And I was thinking today how my life as a jw set me up for wanting to help people in a grander sense, feeling that it was up to me to save them. How I would get so nervous at every door I knocked on in service thinking that this could be the only chance the householder gets to hear the "truth" and that it was up to me to seal the deal. And how, when the message was rejected I couldn't help but think that it was my fault. That if I'd only done more, said it differently, prepared better, that householder would've responded. And every service meeting just drove it home how we can become bloodguilty, because we're, after all, in a "life-saving work."
Today, I basically shouted to the universe, "F**k this! I don't want to save people anymore. It's not my job!" And it felt good. I'm freeing myself from so much of the jw mentality and finally taking the opportunity to see who I really am.
I've decided to put my business completely on the back burner and jump into the bookstore job with both feet. For once in my life, I'd like to wake up every morning and be happy to go to work knowing that I'm good at what I do and not responsible for anyone's life but my own.
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ontario, canada
by telltruth inhope everyone is having a good day.
wondering how many fellow ontarians there are here?
please drop in and say hello, thank you.
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tall penguin
Wahoo! Next Friday works for me too. pm me with the details telltruth.
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Hello, I'm Aaron, and this is my story...
by MetricRX indear reader,
my name is aaron, and i have a brief story to tell regarding my youth as a jehovah's witnesses.
my story is all too familiar for many who had the misfortune to find themselves unwilling participants in the religious activities of this group, but i would like to share my experience.
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tall penguin
Welcome Aaron. Loved your story. You're quite the comedian. Thanks for sharing and please post lots.
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Has Depression & Anger Lessened Since You've Stopped Attending Meetings?
by minimus ini see a lot of happier people around here.
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tall penguin
I'm fresh out having only disassociated 3 months ago. So I'm feeling angry and depressed as a result of the healing process.
Aside from that, I actually feel hope. A new emotion. I am looking forward to a future that is filled with possibility and wonder. I like that. A lot.
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religion
by roymond inthroughout jesus' life, the only thing he ever reacted to in either a judgemental way or angrily, was religion.
he got angry enough with the people in the temple, whowere persecuting the poor and stopping people coming to god, that he whipped them and kicked them out the temple.
indeed there are plenty of examples where jesus calls people hypocrites, for demanding rules and not following them themselves.
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tall penguin
Welcome to the board Roymond. And thank you for your very intelligent and thoughtful thread. Keep posting.
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My sister Robin RIP Mar. 26, 1963 - Nov. 7, 2005
by Lady Lee ini just got some news and am still shaking.
my sister died today.
i hardly knew her .
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tall penguin
Dearest Lady Lee, I'm so sorry for your loss. You are such an inspiration here on this board and in this life. Your courage to have lived the life you have, having experienced such deep hurt and loss, I'm speechless. You have made a difference in this life, in Robin's life and the lives of so many others. May you gain comfort in the knowledge that Robin is free from this life and its pain. And may you draw healing from the love of those around you.
Warm Hugs,
tall penguin